Editor’s Note: Have a question for Dibi Fletcher? She’s definitely got answers. Or at least a perspective. Don’t hold back, shoot her a DM on Instagram and ask away. Here’s what she pulled out of the mailbag this week…
Hey Dibi: I have two boys, 6 and 8, and was wondering if you think I should get them a surf coach for the summer? – BoyMom2
I don’t know what your goals are and whether the kids are good swimmers, which is the first consideration. I have mixed feelings about having a surf coach at their age. My kids learned to surf by going to the beach consistently and playing in the water, bodysurfing, boogie boarding, rafting, swimming and having mud ball fights, while learning about currents, riptides and waterflow to become great surfers. A summer of coaching may be able to teach them how to paddle and stand up, but without the fundamental water awareness under their belts first, it’s going to be a long slow process. So, my advice is to go to the beach together this summer and have fun “playing” in the water, you’ll remember it as one of the BEST times ever….
Hey Dibi: I’m a photographer and mostly focus on surfing and portraits. I’ve had a couple of gallery shows in Europe and would like to break into the American market. Do you have any galleries to suggest? – FrankFoto
I’m sorry, I don’t have anyone to suggest. But I had a similar conversation with a friend recently and I’ll share with you the gist of what I said to him, never has there been the opportunity to get your own work out globally as there is now with social media. You can use it to create a following and build your reputation as an artist while taking advantage of your platform to make sales. It’s a job, time-consuming and often tedious but if you’re serious about wanting sales I suggest that’s where you start and who knows, you may enjoy the process more than handing over your work to someone else and hoping they’ll focus on it the way you would.
Related: Hey Dibi: Should I Quit Surfing?
Hey Dibi: I spent two decades catering to my kids on the surf circuit, now they’ve made names for themselves and maybe call on the weekends. I can’t remember what I like to do, is it too late to find out? – BurnedOut
Whether surf, skate, basketball or ballet, it’s the same empty nest syndrome all parents experience after the kids leave home. Being a parent is all consuming and leaves little time to cultivate outside interests. The good news is that you don’t have to find your life’s passion overnight. Give yourself time and start small by doing things you might not have had time to before. Read, take an online class, play pickle ball, whatever pushes you to reimagine your future. Before long the days you spent at the contests with the kids will be filed in the best memories category as the next chapter of your life unfolds.
Hey Dibi: My partner is legendary in the surf world, I’m proud, but tired of being in the shadow. Should I stay or should I go and create my own identity? – UnidentifiedSpouse
If he’s legendary as you say, I would assume he was when you meet or well on his way and that was part of the attraction. Now you realize “fame” is something that’s nontransferable and you are the spouse and don’t bask in the same light, which is true, but because of his name recognition there are opportunities available to you that most don’t have. I’d never be so presumptuous to tell anyone to stay or go. Every relationship has its pros and cons, it’s up to you to become the person you desire to be, don’t use his success as an excuse not to be your best.
Related: Hey Dibi: Should Ebikes Be Banned At Trestles?
Hey Dibi: If I’m not surfing, am I still a surfer-or just a guy in boardshorts with joint pains and opinions? – AgeistPro
I’m always amused when people write with a question they’ve already answered for themselves.
Hey Dibi: What’s left of surf culture when you strip away the logos, the edits, and the hype? – Surfpuravida
Surf culture is what’s left. The things you mentioned, logos, edits and hype are the hallmarks of the surf industry and the selling of surf related merchandise. When they’re stripped away you have the lifestyle based around the beach and the art of surfing which is the culture that started in the ‘40s and became a global phenomenon with an industry that grew around it to support the few who were living it and it kept growing as more people wanted to live The Dream.
Hey Dibi: Our family just moved to a beach town, and our kids are eager to surf. What should I know about surf culture to help them integrate safely and respectfully? – Nusurffamily
You didn’t mention how old your children are and whether they’re ocean savvy, which makes all the difference in how I’d answer. But given no facts the best I can say, if the kids are old enough junior lifeguard programs offered in most beach towns would be a great way to meet other kids and gather useful ocean awareness skills. Go to the local surf shop and ask about lessons, they can help guide you with what’s available for the skill level of your kids. It’s a process like anything else, to get good, it will take time and a lot of wipeouts, but surfing has so many fantastic benefits it’s worth the challenge.